GERMANS CAN DRIVE

I never thought I'd marry a woman who was a better driver than me. My wife thinks nothing of reaching speeds of 15 miles per hour in reverse, a feat which, in America, is believed to violate the very laws of physics. Parking the car in our "garage" (it's actually more of a walk-in closet) is for me as nerve wracking as performing surgery - and requires as much precision. So narrow is the fit that Sabine has twice successfully removed the side view mirror while backing out. Even I haven't done this, but then again backing out of the garage is, for me, an all-morning affair requiring neighbors standing behind me with those glow sticks you see the airport.

Like much of Europe, Germany's roads smartly feature roundabouts rather than the four-way stops that plague the U.S. "It's 4 a.m. and I'm the only car on the road. Why should I be forced to come to a complete stop?" At roundabouts you're treated like an adult - if no car is approaching then fly through that thing! (I also understand roundabouts mean fewer carbon emissions, if that's important to you). In Germany, the left lane really is only for passing. Americans intellectually understand this - it's the law of the land - but operationally we simply zig-zag past slow moving vehicles that occupy every lane.

In Germany, getting a drivers license is a very expensive undertaking. In America, driving is increasingly perceived as just another right. In the U.S. we're often on the lookout for "aggressive drivers". In Germany everyone drives aggressively because everyone drives competently. It's understood that if you're driving you know what you're doing, end of issue. And the autobahn is for driving, not for reading. You won't find the bumpers with the words "Horn broken, look for finger" in Germany. While Germans hold a wide variety of views just like Americans, they aren't interested in posting those views on their bumperstickers. You can't hug with nuclear arms? Thanks for that - now stop swerving. You voted for Clinton-Gore back in '92? Good for you! Now learn to use your turn signals.